


Contradictory Parts of Ourselves

by natigail



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Angst, Anti-gravity Abilities, Based on a Tumblr Post, Coming Out, F/M, Fear of animals, M/M, Mention Of Homophobia, Nothing too explicit though, Superpowers, animal whisperer, crippling self-doubt, heights and fire, implied depression, overcoming your difficulties, pyrokinesis, scared of their powers, they're not superheroes though they're just trying to live with their abilities
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-26
Updated: 2017-02-26
Packaged: 2018-09-27 03:03:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9949283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natigail/pseuds/natigail
Summary: Three boys all gain powers that absolutely terrify them. The first is scared of animals and can talk to them. The second is terrified of heights and can levitate. The third is petrified by fire has and has it erupting from his hands. Their powers disgust them but they are a part of them and they’ll only become their true self if they embrace them.





	1. The Fright

Based on this Tumblr post:

 

**1\. The Fright**

Tyler had always loved animals as a child and just the sight of them made him extremely excitable. He’d always run up to every dog he’d meet with a happy face ready to pet the gorgeous bundle of joy. Only Tyler didn’t understand that dogs could be aggressive. Everyone he’d met had been so kind, licking his face and bouncing around out of pure joy from getting attention. 

But one day the dog doesn’t react like that at all. Tyler runs up to the dog, who’s running around off leash, and he goes in for a hug like he’s done so many times. Only he doesn’t know how to read the dog’s signals and even the deep growl doesn’t deter Tyler from his hugging mission. He’s almost got his arms around the dog when its head moves rapidly and sharp teeth are sunk into his arm.

Tyler screams in pain and the dog yelps before it runs off. Tyler cries frantically and doesn’t understand what’s happened one bit. He hears his mother call out for him but he’s too focused on the blood and teeth mark on his arms to pay attention to it. Fear from the animal that’s he’s always loved fills his entire body. 

Tyler doesn’t like animals after that. 

~~~~~

Troye had always been pretty fearless when it came to trying new things. He’d perform in front of big crowds from a very young age and instantly knew it was where he belonged and he’d do anything to chase that feeling. 

He was only a kid when he started singing and by age twelve, he got offered his first big gig as part of a showcase for talented young musicians. Troye was so excited. When the director explained the idea that all the contestants would be on a platform that would hoist up in the air, Troye thought it sounded so cool.

Only when he was up there, singing his heart out with the other four people, he suddenly felt sick to his stomach. He glances out over the crowd and down at the long drop. Troye’s voice dies out and an innate panic hit him. The mechanism moving the platform hits a slight hitch, causing the five singers to lose their balance momentarily. Troye is the only one that stumbles and though he’s nowhere near falling over the edge, his heartbeat won’t slow down and the drop before his eyes freezes all muscles in his body. 

Troye doesn’t like heights after that. 

~~~~~

Connor was always extremely well liked by everyone he met. Even as a kid, other children would fight to sit next to him. His mother said he had a certain glow that attracted people, like moth to a flame.

Though Connor liked his close friends, he was never much for huge gatherings. He sought solitude often when social interaction became too much. He lived by a lake and would go out on swims almost every day, as he grew older. The water has his refuge and he’d go there and the feel of the waves and the water around his body as he swam it would calm him down instantly. 

One night, he comes back after a night’s swim and he sees the smoke before anything else. He bolts forward, sprinting despite his aching muscles, to the path towards his family house. The image that meets him is forever burnt into his memories; his childhood home enclosed in flames and the sheer terror as the fire destroyed everything. His family had made it outside, thank goodness, but nothing from the house could be saved.

Connor doesn’t like fire after that.


	2. The Acceptance

Tyler has just rounded his teenage years when it begins to happen. At first, he thinks he’s going crazy. He hears random whispers of words that no one else hears. 

“Did you hear that?” almost becomes his catch phrase as he whips his head around trying to locate the origin of the sound. He’s never able to. 

His family grows increasingly worried but with so many siblings it’s not something any of his parents have time to do something about. His friends tease him about it, light-heartedly, but unfortunately the bullies catch on with it too. His friends try to take it back and stands up for him but it’s too late. He’s already known as the boy who hears voices. 

It’s been a couple of months after he begins to hear voices that he hears the word schizophrenia and he doesn’t what it means but he can tell it’s not good. It’s some kind of decease. 

He stops telling people about the fragments of voices he hears in the air. Only problem is that the voices grow stronger and more coherent. It is full sentences now and it usually only happens when he’s outside. However, it still happens when he can’t see any people. It doesn’t make any sense to him. 

Tyler has been living with hearing the occasional voices for months when he finally figures out what it is. He’s at a picnic with his school friends, having a good time and enjoying being away from the school and the kids that doesn’t understand. His friends don’t bring up the voices anymore and Tyler is grateful. 

“People! People! Say hello!” a voice fills the air and Tyler’s head snaps up and begin to scan around him briefly before he catches himself. It’s the voices again and no one else reacted. It’s only this voice is shouting and that’s a first. 

“Look,” one of his friends says and Tyler turns around to be shoved aside as a large golden dog comes running at full pace. 

Tyler’s heart is in his throat and he jumps up, utterly terrified. He’s never been able to view animals the same after the say he got bitten. He steps away from the picnic blanket as quickly as possible and sees his friends gush about the dog that’s invaded their space while barking loudly.

“So happy. Laughter. Good,” the voice continues lightly and Tyler’s hands springs to his temples as if pressing hard enough will make the voice go away. He doesn’t want to be sick. 

He feels so nauseous and like he might throw up any moment. The image of the dog jumping around while happily wagging its tail is too much. Any minute the happy creature could snap and attack them. It’s dangerous. 

He wants to scream about the danger to his friends but they don’t seem worried one bit. Neither was he before it happened.

“I’m so sorry,” says a lady running up to the picnic blankets as she tries to put a leash on the frantic dog. 

“Master, look at the kids. Cute. Happy. Petting,” the voice continues loudly. 

Tyler’s breath hitches as absolute dread overcomes him. No, it can’t be true. 

“Please no,” he whispers, barely audible but the dog raises its head and looks directly at Tyler before taking a big leap over one of Tyler’s friend.

“Friend. Human. Good,” the voice continues, overjoyed and happy and much more focused now. It doesn’t sound like it’s coming from the air anymore. It’s definitely coming from the dog, who’s making a beeline for Tyler. 

The dog pounces on him, knocking him back and Tyler is petrified. He can’t move. It feels like he’s about to die. He doesn’t even understand what’s doing on but he know that the voice he hears in his head is coming from that dog. The weight of the dog’s body hit him as they collide with the grass. 

Of course, the stupid animal had to be the thing that caused Tyler seem like he had a horrible illness. Tyler starts crying, out of fear and frustration and it’s not more than a moment before he feels something wet on his cheek. The monster is eating him. 

“Don’t be sad. Don’t be scared. I’m here,” Tyler hears the voice tell him but he’s not paying attention. 

“I’m so sorry,” the lady exclaims and tries to pry her dog off of Tyler, who’s more and more like a nervous wreck. 

She finally gets a leash on the beast but Tyler crawls into foetus position, tears still falling from his face. He can feel his friends gather around him and try to make him get up but he just can’t. 

He can hear what the dog was thinking and even now the voice still screams in his head. It’s mixed with the sound of that actual bark from the dog that struggling to get free from its owner and return to Tyler’s side again. 

In his desperation and crying while lying on the ground the voices he’s learnt to live with are all too prominent. He can make out different pitches of voice and almost accents. There are so many voices. So many different animals in the park have unique voices and Tyler can hear them all. 

This is worse than being schizophrenic. He can understand animals. He’s not sick, just a freak. Animals of all things! He’s never fully trusted animals after the dog incident. Only months later a cat clawed his arms almost to shreds, at least that’s how it felt like, and birds have swooped down to peck at him on more than one occasion.

He hates animal. He’s sworn of animals completely. He’s overwhelmed and sad and confused. He doesn’t want to understand animal. He never wanted to be some animal whisper. He just wants all that to go away. He can’t bear all the voices. He doesn’t want to. He prays, to something – anything, for it to go away but it’s no use. 

Tyler can’t ignore his ability after that. 

~~~~~

Troye is fourteen when he first does it by accident. He’s not even thinking about it. In fact, his mind is preoccupied longing for the stage that he tries to forget he still misses. From age nine ‘til twelve, he was up on a stage at least once a week with the crowds growing in number each time. After the incident at the showcase, he can’t get back up on the stage. 

It’s too scary and the one time he tried his voice completely failed him at rehearsal and he had to call the whole thing off. It’s making him more restless than he realises. He’s walking home from the bus stop, hunching his backpack up higher on his shoulder. 

His dream of being a musician has been crushed if he can’t go up on a stage anymore. He’s so consumed by his thoughts that he hardly realises what’s happening. His eyes are cast down but he’s not paying attention to what they see, as his mind demands all his attention. He knows this walk from the bus stop to his house by heart, so it doesn’t require a great deal of concentration. 

However, his focus turns back on his vision when he sees something odd. Why is he walking so strangely? It’s almost as if his feet flow forward rather than hitting down on the pavement and propelling him forward by steps. 

His vision blurs slightly as he realises he is indeed floating. Panic rises in his throat. This isn’t normal. Something is awfully wrong. 

The stress and worry seem to only propel him higher until he’s a good feet above the ground. Troye has no idea how he’s doing this and then he falls down, scraping his knees as they make contact with concrete. 

Troye’s heart is bumping with adrenalin and his vision goes back to normal as he sits up and inspects the damage on his knees. What happened? Was he just so lost in his own thoughts that he stumbled?

He couldn’t be entirely sure what his eyes saw, his vision was blurred after all, but the dread in Troye’s stomach hints towards this not just being a figment of his imagination. He felt the wave of panic, as he seemed to float up higher, like a helium balloon that a kid let go off. What happens to those balloons? How far do they make it up?

Just thinking about it makes Troye want to vomit. He decides to dismiss it, for his own sanity’s sake. 

Only it happens again. He’s doing a class presentation on the social affects of music, thankfully behind the desk when his feet lose contact with the floor beneath them and he begins to hover. Troye panics while trying to think heavy thoughts and continues on with the presentation as if nothing is wrong. Toward the end of the presentation, the hovering wears off but almost sends him toppling forwards over the desk and makes people laugh. 

It happens a few more times after that. Whenever Troye’s concentrating on something, particularly music-related stuff, his body will lose contact with the floor. Mostly he just hovers for a couple of minutes but it’s getting increasingly difficult to hide. Troye doesn’t know if he can tell anyone. 

Silently, he’s just happy he never seems to float as high as those helium balloons and potentially keep going until he reaches the end of Earth’s atmosphere. However, the wave of dread still hits him every time and fills his thought with images of him floating upwards only to lose the antigravity and fall down too fast and splat out onto the ground. He pretends not to care about that and generally go about his life as if his body doesn’t randomly decides to disobey the laws of physic. It’s easier than facing the reality. 

On an early summer’s day, he’s brought his piano on wheels outside on the patio in his family’s garden to enjoy the nice weather and to avoid overhearing his older brother get it on with the girlfriend. 

Troye’s playing along, strumming the notes and singing softly. These days he hardly dares to touch his instrument because what’s the point? He can never be any real kind of in musician if he can’t go on stage. 

He closes his eyes and lets his fingers work the piano and work out his frustrations. He misses playing so much and singing. Even after he finishes the song and lowers his fingers from the piano, he continues in an entirely different song that he’s yet to learn how to play. 

He keeps his eyes close and lets his voice ring out as he enjoys the light breeze on his cheek. He vaguely registers that it’s nice to have some wind to cool off the dull summer heat, even though it’s unusual.

When he opens his eyes, he understands why. He’s hovering in the air, still somehow in his seated position. Troye is afraid to move a muscle and even the scream gets caught in his throat. He’s far over his family house’s roof and probably around the height of four storeys. This is his worst nightmare come to life. 

Tears starts streaming down his face because he has no idea how to fix this or what caused it. He wants to close his eyes, try to hide from his reality, but he’s scared that he’ll be lifted higher. 

He wants to call out to his family. Scream for help. Plead with whatever this anti gravity force is and beg it to put him back down. 

“I don’t want to die,” he mutters softly, tears filling his eyes. 

Why is this happening to him? Why is he always floating? It makes no sense and Troye desperately wants it to stop. 

Suddenly, his body feels too heavy and he’s dropping. His scream finally comes out his mouth, as he’s certain this is the end. It’s even worse than nearly falling off that platform two years ago. 

His body jerks back upwards, working against the gravity that’s pulling him towards his potential death. The jerk causes Troye to scream louder but somewhere deep down he also realises this odd jerk breaks the distance and the straight fall. 

When his body collides with the grass in his family garden, it hurts like hell and Troye’s scared shitless but he’s not dangerously or fatally injured. His family comes out the patio door, raised voices of worry as they see Troye lying traumatised and crying amongst the small wild flowers in the grass. 

Troye can’t ignore his ability after that.  

~~~~~

Connor has been running hot since he was twelve. His body temperature seems to be feverish most of the time but he feels perfectly normal. In fact, he’s in perfect health. Some people just have a naturally higher body temperature, he assures himself. 

He makes it through high school putting up the façade that he isn’t feeling like his body could combust any moment or that his head is not in the right space. He becomes a master of self-control and patience. He was always somewhat of a control freak and perfectionist and he refuses to let his sudden burst of destructive thoughts ever see the light of day. Connor continues to be liked by everyone and he does his best to be a friend to all. 

They don’t have a clue what’s looming under the surface. They have no idea about the destructive urges he gets when he just wants to completely tear something apart and ruin it forever. Connor chugs it up to a hormonal imbalance but he’s too scared to ask his parents or siblings, which he normally would go to without a second thought. This just doesn’t feel normal no matter how much he likes to pretend it is. 

He goes swimming a lot, twice a day and that helps. If he has to miss it, he’s hot and bothered all day. So it’s only natural that he joins the swimming team when he begins on college. They’re all so impressed with his skill and he goes on to win several medals within his first two years. 

He has got the impulse control down to a tee and it’s almost like it’s not there anymore. Almost. When he starts his third year, he’s starting to be a lot more lax about it. He drops his triple training sessions and goes back to just once a day. He’s by far still the best on his team regardless. 

He also needs time to focus on the start-up he’s launched over the summer. Designing and creating a brand has always been something he’s wanted to do and now he needs to pour his energy into that and the only way to have time for it and classes is to dial back on the swimming training. 

He’s been repressing the destruction roaming inside him for nine odd years and he’s doing it completely by nature now. 

Maybe it’s his shift in attitude but he actually forgets about the time those thoughts plagued him constantly. It’s like it never happened. However, that also means he’s unable to recognise them when they come crawling back. 

It’s a gradual burn that Connor doesn’t notice. He’s too busy living his life with friends, classes, training and his budding start-up company. He’s been devoting so much attention and time to repressing those thoughts and he refuses to let them have that hold over him anymore. 

He skips swim training to go to a meeting with investors for his start-up. He’s nervous and fidgeting as he arrives at their offices. This is a big deal. This could be the thing that marks the proper start of his business. 

Despite his initial worries, the meeting is going great. They’re very interesting in his vision and all the work that’s been put in so far. Connor is ecstatic but he’s also feeling very flushed. He tugs at the collar of his shirt. 

“Are you okay, Connor? You look like you’re running a little hot,” one of the potential investors says as they’re wrapping up the meeting. He indicates his cheeks. 

Connor lifts a hand to feel his own cheek but it doesn’t feel hot, at least not hotter than his hand. 

“I guess I’m just very pumped about working with you,” Connor says. 

“Likewise,” says the other. “It was a great meeting. You’ll hear from us soon.”

He reaches a hand forwards for Connor to shake. Connor extends his own hand but skin barely touches skin before the businessman springs back with a grimace of pain plastered across his face. 

“You’re burning hot,” the guy says, rubbing his hand and turning it over. The man’s palm is scarily pink. 

“Sorry,” Connor says but he’s no idea what’s going on. He’s suddenly insecure that they didn’t like his company and vision and the thoughts makes him want to destroy this entire meeting room. 

“You might want to see a doctor if you’re running that hot,” the other says and pats his colleague on the back. “Or this guy is being a big baby. Come on, let me escort you out.”

Connor only manages a nod and once they part at the lobby, Connor makes a bad joke about not shaking hands before he does an awkward wave and rushes out of the building.

He does feel hot. Too hot. Feverishly hot but he never gets a fever. Not since he was a teenager. 

He makes around the side of the big building to an alley when be pulls out his phone and takes a look in the front facing camera. His cheeks are bright red, like he’s deeply embarrassed. He stuffs the phone back in his pocket and glances down as his hands. 

They seemed to almost leave a burn mark on that man’s hand but that’s impossible. Connor gets increasingly frustrated and angry because he doesn’t understand what’s going on and whatever it is, it’s out of his control and that feels horrible. 

Before he knows what’s happened actual flames erupt in his palm. He yelps and expects the pain to come but it doesn’t. The two flames burn brightly as if his palm were made of some excellent flammable material like an old fashioned torch. 

Connor begins shaking. It makes sense now. With the fire in his hands, the thoughts of destruction that he’s been repressing for years are screaming louder than ever. He can make fire with his bare hands and it terrifies him. 

Fire is uncontrollable and destructive and that’s why it scares him so much. It took away his family home and memories and brunt until there was nothing left. Connor doesn’t want that inside of his body or erupting for it. He thinks he starts crying but he doesn’t feel the tears on his cheeks and the heat evaporates them almost immediately. 

Connor can’t ignore his ability after that.


	3. The Embrace

Tyler tries to avoid animals at all costs after he learns about his connection with them. He’ll turn down going to the park with friends, as even ants have voices albeit small ones. He begins to develop an unhealthy relationship to food and before becoming vegetarian, vegan and then vegetarian again. As much as he tries to ignore it, he can’t.

He plans tries to plan his life around it but it’s quite the challenge. Too often he’ll run into a dog, who is out for a walk or a cat striding around its territory. He’s learnt things about his abilities though, even though he attempts to forget about it and ignore what is happening.

He can only hear them “speak” when they make an actual sound, like a bark, a purr or chirp. Instead of hearing the normal animal sound, he’ll hear the intentions behind that utterance. It’s quite freaky and Tyler doesn’t want to think of animals as complex living beings. From what he’s heard so far, they don’t think nowhere near as intelligently as humans but they do think on some level, even if it is basic.

Tyler wants to be able to keep them in the box he put them in as a child. The box for reckless and dangerous animals that can snap at any moment. He doesn’t want them to be aware of their actions and be able to think. He feels much better thinking of them as driven purely by fundamental urges.

He declines staying over with friends that have pets, however, one time he messed up and asked specifically after a dog or cat as to go with his allergic to fur story that he conquered up after the dog attack at the picnic that had his friends bursting with questions. The friend had said no to the cats and dogs but turned out they had a large pet snake.

It talked a lot. Its little tongue skimming out asking question after question. Tyler had made the mistake to speak in front of it before he became aware of the case in the corner of the room. The snake heard him speak and went off the handle. Tyler was only thankful it was caged.

He is no parseltongue like Harry Potter. He is an  _everything_  tongue and he doesn’t want to be. It was awkward enough trying to excuse himself with the friend while hearing the snake respond to everything he was saying.

“Don’t leave. Come here. Talk to me,” the snake would beacon, which eventually prompted Tyler to leave the room with his friend none the wiser.

He tried to avoid talking in front or nearby animals at all. He’d purposely shut his trap, which was unlike him and a cause of worry to his family and friends. But if the animals heard him speak, it seemed they’d hear him talk their language no matter how much Tyler tried to just speak English and human.

“Tyler, we’re taking you and your younger brother on a family outing tomorrow,” his mother said and gestured herself and his stepdad.

“Okay,” Tyler mutters. “To where?”

“The zoo. It’s going to be great,” his mother says but Tyler has already tuned out and can practically feel the colour drain from his face. He can’t go to the zoo with his family.

They’ll expect him to talk to them like a normal human being but if he does, every animal around him will go mental.

“I can’t, Mom,” Tyler says in what he hopes is a stern voice.

His mother is having none of it.

“It’s a family excursion and you’re going. That’s final, young man. Just because you’re thirteen doesn’t mean that you can get rid of your family.

“But Mom…” Tyler tries to plead but it’s no use. The next Saturday he joins his family in the zoo.

He tries to keep his mouth shut, he really does but he can’t be rude and blatantly refrain from answering a question from a family member.

“Tyler, I asked you a question,” his stepdad says with eyebrows drawn together in confusion and frustration.

Tyler opens his mouth, only to shut it again.

“You’ve been awfully quiet since we arrived. It’s not like you at all,” his mother chimes in.

“I’m sorry!” Tyler exclaims and the damn breaks. “I do think the lion looks pretty and yes I would like to get an ice-cream and I don’t think you can ride a zebra like a horse.”

He pauses after his outburst of a rant and for a moment he thinks that he’s okay. Then it starts. Zebra calls, lion roars, birds chirping and everything else.

The voices overlap in Tyler’s head giving him an instant migraine as he clutches onto his head. His mother rushes to his side baffled as to what’s happening to her son.

“Make them stop. They’re so loud,” Tyler whispers as he glances around at all the stirred up animals. They are excited. They haven’t heard a human speak their language before but it’s too much for Tyler.

His mother Jackie shouts something to the rest of the family and pulls Tyler aside, away from the animal enclosures and towards the front gate where there isn’t an animal every way you turn.

“Darling, can you hear animals?” Jackie asks as Tyler seems to have calmed down.

“Yes,” he replies weakly and proceeds to shake his head as if that could remove the intruding voices he can still hear from far off.

The funny thing is that animals aren’t very vocal usually but the moment they hear one word from Tyler, they become it.

“I thought so,” Jackie says and strokes her son’s head.

“How did you know?” Tyler asks in confusion.

He’s been trying to hide it for so long. He was worried about what would happen. Maybe he’d get sent away or maybe his family would cast him aside and disown him. After all, who wants a freak that can talk to animals living in the house?

“A mother knows such things,” Jackie says smugly and Tyler rolls his eyes dramatically.

Coincidently, it’s very similar to the way he first comes out as gay. His mother seems to be much more observant than he gives her credit for.

It feels better for her to know, both about the ability and his sexuality. He eventually goes on to come out to friends and family, which isn’t without major hiccups, namely his father, but the talking to animals he keeps to himself. When he falls out with his father, Tyler feels memories of how he used to talk to the neighbours dog whose owner was a boy he found cute. He came out to a dog before anyone else and it now saddens him that he’ll never be able to get that kind of confidentiality with animals again.

As he grows older and through his high school time, he begins to experiment and not in the way you might be thinking. He tries to put aside his instinctive fear of animals and give them more of a chance.

You learn a lot of things growing up and one of them should be not to judge a book by its cover. Just because a certain book bit you once doesn’t mean that the next one will. Tyler wishes to live in a society where he’ll be accepted as he is and in his own life this translates to having an open mind.

He’s learning new things almost daily and in junior high he decides to give animals another shot. He’s still been avoiding them as usual up until this point but his feelings towards them have changes very gradually, almost as slowly and quietly that he didn’t notice.

It was catching bits of birds chirping and the raw positivity they usually sang about, if it wasn’t a mating call because boy, did those get intense. It when one of his friends shows him a video of her cat purring deeply and hearing nothing but words of love towards the girl gently stroking its fur.

He goes back to the park that he hasn’t been to in years, not ever since that picnic. It’s known for a place where owners let their dogs off leash and though the thought terrifies Tyler, he bravely sits down on a park bench.

He won’t speak. He won’t call attention to himself but he needs to verify his position on dogs. They used to be his absolute favourite animals until the biting incident. As he’s grown up, he’s come to realise that incident was actually more his fault than the dog, as much as it hurts to admit it.

He had run up to a stranger’s dog and firmly clasped his hands around it, giving what he thought were a hug and affection but he knows now that the dog probably felt trapped. The memory is imprinted on him and he does recall the dog growling before, undoubtedly warning him to let go. Had he been able to understand them then, it might have been a different story.

An owner with a young-looking German Shepard walks towards them. The owner has a tennis ball in the plastic throwing device and the dog is jumping around her happily.

One bark. “Throw the ball.”

A whimper. “Please throw my ball.”

Another bark. “You’re meant to throw it.” And again. “Come on.”

Tyler finds himself chuckling at the pure and innocent conversations.

“Go get it,” the owner finally says and throws the ball, only her hand-eye coordination is very poorly and it ends up landing besides Tyler’s bench.

Old fear and panic rises is his throat as he let out a yelp when the ball startles him. The dog is already in full pursuit and it’s almost a glorious sight. However, Tyler remembers the dog that bit him and the one that tackled him and his body freezes up and expects pain.

The dog picks up the ball and is about to turn around and run back to its owner but then it comes to a sudden halt and stares right at Tyler. It’s almost as if it looks into his soul. Against his better judgement, Tyler opens his mouth.

“Hi,” he says softly, barely louder than a whisper but dogs have excellent hearing and the young dog’s hears pops up at the sound and it drops its ball.

In a hunched fashion it steps towards Tyler, body close to the ground and for a moment Tyler worries that’s how dogs looks when they stalk their prey. However, there’s something very disarming about the way the dog approaches with its ears back and tail hanging low.

It’s almost as if it’s submissive.

By now the owner is screaming her head off, trying to call the dog back to her but to no avail. Tyler watches the dog almost mesmerised. Once it reaches him it stops with its snout just a hand away from his knee.

A small whimper escapes it. “Hello friend. Nice to meet you.”

Tyler blinks a couple of times, still having trouble comprehending it. The dog carefully puts its head on his knee and tries to lick his hand, which rests on his thigh.

He thinks he’ll feel the panic any moment. Instinctively, he thinks the dog with clasps its sharp teeth leaving a deep scar to match the one on his arm but looking down at the dog that all fades away.

He carefully raises his hand to pet the dog, who wags its tail happily and moves around to attempt to lick his hand again.

“Hello friend,” Tyler finds himself saying as the dogs starts jumping around excitedly still trying to lick his hand.

It whimpers as it leaps with the front its body to almost crawl onto Tyler’s lap. Its paws settle on his shoulders as it barks.

“Good friend. I like you,” its voice tells him and his chest swells with love rather than fear.

The frantic owner finally reaches them, out of breath and red in the face of embarrassment.

“I’m so sorry, she’s never done something like this before,” she says in between heaves for breath.

“It’s okay,” Tyler replies and really means it. “Down,” he tells the dog, who jumps down and sits nicely at his feet.

“Wow, you’ve really got a way with dogs, huh?” the owner remarks and puts a leash on her dog.

“I think I do,” Tyler finds himself saying as he stares into the young German Shepard’s eyes.

“I don’t want to leave you,” the dog speaks in a whimper.

Tyler reaches down to pet her and hopes that’s enough of an answer. He never thought he’d find himself voluntarily petting a dog.

From that moment on, Tyler embraces who he is and what he can do.

~~~~~

It becomes difficult for Troye to functions after the fall in his backyard. His parents are worried sick about him, especially because he doesn’t say anything about how it happened. They come to their own conclusion that he must have jumped out of one of the windows but they still seem sceptical about that.

Troye refuses to say anything. He’s terrified what will happen when they find out. He’s a freak that can just randomly fly and this is shaking up all kind of thoughts within him. Who would want him as a son or a brother or a friend for that matter?

Troye asks to be home-schooled after the incident. He can’t go back to school and classes, not now. He can only imagine what’ll happen when he randomly will begin floating during a test and all eyes will turn on him. He’ll be exposed and everything will be ruined. 

This is not the life he saw himself living, not one bit. 

Out of all potential and imaginative powers, he gets antigravity of all things? The boy who’s terrified of heights can essentially fly? This must be some cruel joke. 

His parents don’t understand why he locks himself in his room most days. His three siblings all stop by his room and ask him to hang out but he declines. His friends text him but he lets the texts sit unanswered in his phone.

He begins to float more often. His body will begin to levitate just a little and it happens several times a day. That’s the reason he hides in his room. There no one will see him float around. He suddenly finds it quite calming when he’s floating aimlessly around his room, which does not scare him too much as he could never drift off. When he’s levitating, his minds feels so much more turned on and open.

Deep dark thoughts he’s been repressing his whole life also seems less scary. Boys don’t have to like girls, do they?

Floating in his rooms becomes more and more normal and he begins to be able to do it for longer periods of times. He’s still terrified of leaving his room though. 

One day there’s a knock on his door while he’s floating around in the air and his mother calls out his name. 

He gulps and an image of his mother’s horrified expression flashes before his eyes. He doesn’t control when he floats or when he drops, not really. But he tries to command his body anyway and surprisingly the antigravity wears off, dropping him on the edge of his bed where he proceeds to tumble off.

“What are you doing in here?” his mother Laurelle flings the door open when she hears the bang and finds her son sitting on the floor rubbing his back. 

“Just sitting on the floor,” he says with what he hopes in an innocent smile. “There’s no crime in that, is there?”

His mother’s face turns soft and for a moment he remembers the way she used to look at him before she thought he was going insane, before he was able to levitate. The pitiful look that’s plagued her feature for the past month where he’s been home-schooled only reminds me of the months following the showcase. 

“Kayla is here to see you,” Laurelle tells him. “She’s waiting downstairs to take you to the park.”

“What?” Troye exclaims, worry instantly present in his body. He can’t go outside. He’s safe inside of buildings where the roof will catch him if he begins to float. Outside is dangerous. He can’t do it. Kayla is his best friend but he can’t do that. 

“You haven’t left the house in almost a month, dear,” his mother continues, her voice as soft and tender as always. “Fresh air will be good for you. Besides, don’t you miss hanging out with Kayla? She really seems to miss you. A lot.”

Troye could count on his mother to guilt trip him and before he’s fully aware of how he agreed to it, he’s headed to the park with Kayla. 

“You seem nervous, Troye,” Kayla remarks as they walk. 

Troye is nervous and anxious. He wants to turn back to his house and run home to safety but the way Kayla hugged him when he came downstairs stops him. He’s missed his best friend terribly. 

They sit down in a secluded part of the park and Kayla starts chatting like normal and as if Troye hasn’t dropped out of school and been completely absent from all social events since then. 

“We should share our deepest darkest secrets,” Kayla suggests after a while. 

Troye was beginning to relax now as he’s not felt his body make any indication to float so far. He’s been happy just to catch up with Kayla and all the drama he’s missed at school since he left. 

She goes on to tell him a few choice things, they’re not really that dark but Troye can tell by the flush in her cheeks that it’s definitely secrets she hasn’t told anyone else. 

But her secrets are nothing like Troye’s. He has two massive things hidden deep within him and while he’s been unable to ignore one of them, the other has begun to occupy more and more of his headspace as well. He told himself that he’d never tell that to anyone, just like with his levitation, only this one he’s practically kept secret his whole life and not just a couple of months. 

“Come on, Troye! I said like three secrets, at least give me something,” Kayla teases. 

Troye gulps and opens his mouth. He’s not even sure what he’s going to say but she’s Kayla and she’s his best friend. 

“I think I might be…” Troye attempts to say but his voice wavers. 

“Troye, are you bisexual?” Kayla asks after he’s hesitated for too long. 

“I think I might be. Yeah,” he chokes out and then he’s crying. Tears are hot and frustratingly rolling down his cheeks. 

Kayla pulls him into a hug and tells him everything is okay. Troye was not ready for this. He’s not even sure it´s true. Boys are supposed to like girls. 

Because he gets so worked up, his body takes over but it doesn’t just choose crying as an outlet. Before he knows it, he feels the all to familiar pull upwards and he’s floating and so is Kayla because of their entangled limps. 

When she realises, she clutches onto Troye tightly and whimpers but it’s nothing compared to Troye’s terror. He might just have come out and now he’s going to float upwards into oblivion. 

“Let go of me!” he shouts at Kayla but she just digs in tighter. 

Great, he’s going to take poor Kayla with him.

“What is happening, Troye? Put us down!” Kayla demands but they’re still moving higher. 

“I don’t know how…” he mutters. 

“If you can lift us, you can put us back down,” Kayla reasons calmly even though her voice sounds panicked. She’s handling herself extremely well under pressure but then again she always did. 

Troye lets her words reach him and takes a deep breath as he imagines moving them downwards slowly rather than upwards. His eyes close naturally for the concentration, pushing away the fear and confusion in his mind, and amazingly they start moving downwards. 

He loses focus about two thirds down and they fall the rest of the way but it’s nothing more than a couple of bruised bums. 

When Troye opens his eyes and looks at Kayla, he suspects to see disgust. Her best friend likes boys and can float. However, she doesn’t look disgusted or even mad, maybe just a little unsettled. 

“How long have been able to do that?”

Troye shrugs. “A couple of months, maybe half a year.”

She nods, deep in thought but she still doesn’t look angry, which surprises Troye. 

“We can’t ever speak of this, Kayla. None of it. Both things are just…”

“Of course we won’t,” Kayla interrupts and takes his hand. “It’s just between us. But Troye… I don’t think you need to be scared. Not of any of it.”

Troye draws a sharp breath in.

“Up there,” Kayla continues. “Your heart was beating so fast but you got us down safely. Just remember that, okay?” 

Troye nods. 

“Now, I think we’ve had a more than eventful evening. Let me follow you home,” Kayla says and interlocks their arms as they walk and makes Troye feel more at ease.

Kayla keeps her words. She doesn’t mention anything to anyone, neither about his sexuality nor about his powers. 

But that afternoon still changes so much within Troye. It’s like a shift in him. He begins to research bisexuality and homosexuality on his computer. He gets braver with floating in his room or around the house when no one is home. He begins to practice doing it on purpose rather than it just happening. 

He begins to be able to control it and it stops happening randomly anymore. He practices to ground himself when he gets too in his own head and he practices taking off on purpose. 

He doesn’t talk about it with Kayla or anyone but suddenly floating doesn’t seem so scary anymore, nor does liking boys. The latter is apparently more common than he thought and it doesn’t seem as bad anymore. 

He comes out to his family around six months later and it goes so smoothly. There’s a lot of crying and hugging but they all say that they still love him. It gives him hope and he feels so loved that day.

It’s the following day that he steps outside in his garden for the first time since the incident. He’s been going outside more and more lately after he’s gotten better control of his powers but the garden still scares him. He remembers the panic and the feeling that he was about to die. Just thinking about it, his feet come off the ground. 

He takes a deep breath, empties his head, which is easier said than done, and feels his feet reconnect with the grass. It’s basically a test to see whether all his indoor training has worked and it appears that it did. 

“I can do this,” Troye says out loud, purely for his own benefit. No one else is home, which is why he decided now would be the time. 

He begins thinking of music and the melodies he composes on his piano. He’s found it’s the easiest way for him to float as music usually comes along with all-consuming thoughts. 

Troye begins to float upwards anew and he keeps his body relaxed to his best ability. It’s when he freezes that it doesn’t listens to him. 

The old panic comes back again; the fear of falling down and dying. It’s the same horrible panic that seems instilled in him since the day he stumbled on the raised platform at the showcase. He’s familiar with that panic now and rather than being a terrifying stranger, it’s an annoying old friend. 

“You’ve done this five hundred times, Troye,” he tells himself. “You’ve got this. If you can tell your family that you’re gay then this should be a piece of cake.”

His body soars higher in the air as he utters the words but the panic doesn’t increase. Troye keeps his eyes open, watching, as the world beneath him grows smaller. 

He should be scared. He should be petrified. He keeps expecting to feel the full force of his panic and acrophobia but it doesn’t come. Instead it’s this giddy feeling inside him as the tunes he’s been humming grows more advanced in his mind. He’s writing a song without realising it. He’s embracing the sexuality he was ashamed of for years and hiding away in a closet. He’s freer than he’s ever felt. 

A laugh bubbles in his throat and he pulls his focus towards the ground and going back down. His body obeys immediately. He pulls it back upwards again before his feet hit the ground. 

Next he lets go freely, letting his body actually free fall for a second before he catches himself. He just purposely let himself free fall and he feels so happy and proud. He’s no longer scared, not in the same way. His powers doesn’t just lift him from the ground, they also allow him to break his fall mid-air.

From that moment on, Troye embraces who he is and what he can do.

~~~~~

Connor leaves college and moves to LA shortly after. His tutors and professors all raise questions as does his parents but he can’t tell them the truth. He has to get out of Minnesota and get somewhere where people don’t know him. 

I choses Los Angeles as his new city, as it is the home of the investors from the fateful meeting. They are beyond enthusiastic about his business and they want to help grow it. That’s the only explanation that Connor offers when people asks. 

He’s putting college on hold to pursue his passion project. He’s striving to be an entrepreneur and that’s admirable, though most people he talks to argues that he can just wait until after college. 

They don’t understand. With the destructive fire inside of him and the looming thoughts of cute boys that should be cute girls, he just doesn’t fit in anymore. The Midwest cannot contain him anymore. 

He’s doubtful that LA will be able to but it’s a better bet than here. It’s probably up there with Las Vegas and New York as cities where freaks fit in most smoothly. 

“Yes, I’m settling in fine, Mom,” Connor tells his mother on the phone. He’s only moved here a week ago and she’s called him multiple times of every single day. 

“Yes, I have unpacked,” Connor lies as he glances around his small apartment and sees the boxes shoved out in the corners out of the way to create a path for him to move around. 

“I’ve been busy with Common Culture,” he switches to tell about instead because he’s uncomfortable lying to his mother. 

He’s gotten used to lie by omission to everyone but direct lies, even small white ones, makes him very uncomfortable. He has been working hard since he arrived here and it’s good. Keeping busy is healthy for him. It occupies his mind, so it can’t begin to think thoughts it shouldn’t. 

“I’m just worried about you, Connor. You’re so far from home,” her mother tells him and these words seem to cut right through his half-ass attention. 

“I’m…” he hesitates. “I’m good, Mom. I will be good. I just needed a change. And I’m still only a plane ride away.”

It’s a potentially expensive plane ride but still just a plane ride. 

He finally gets his mother off the phone and heads out his apartment to the swimming pool in the complex. It’s his new investor friends that got him access to this place. He’d never have gotten it without those contacts. 

The apartment is small but the complementary pool sold him instantly. He swims twice a day now, as he dreads another instance of explosive fire hands to happen again. He tries to forget about it but he can’t. Not anymore. 

The first couple of months go well. However, Connor finds it difficult to make friends in LA where everybody more keen on sniffing out whether you’re someone important. Andrew and Jeremy, the investors, take good care of him though. 

Their employer is very keen that they have acquired Connor and his brand to the corporate family. They make sure to invite him along to events and soon the three of them are a close-knit business unit all working on Common Culture. 

It’s at one of these events where he meets Tyler, a loud-spoken, bright turquoise-haired, openly gay guy with the most infectious laugh. Tyler is managing and helping doing social medias, on any thinkable platform, for so many charities. They become fast friends, which surprises Connor slightly because Tyler is so different from any friends he’s ever had before. 

Suddenly, liking boys doesn’t feel so abnormal as Tyler is very vocal about boys he finds cute. 

This sparks thoughts in Connor’s head, those locked away deeply along with his fire powers. He told himself he would never speak of either but yet he finds himself scrolling through forums and videos into the night too many times. 

Having fire burst out of your hands, or pyrokinesis as it’s apparently called, is not well represented. However, liking the same gender is. 

Connor starts trying to say both in the mirror to himself. It’s so difficult as the words physically don’t want to leave his lips. Every time, he steps up to the mirror, fire erupts in his hands and he gets distracted. He keeps trying and one day it just slips out. 

“I’m gay and I can control fire.”

The words sound so foreign in his voice. But they don’t sound wrong or scary as he thought they might. This makes him so different and far from the norm that he’s strived to fit in with but maybe that isn’t such a bad idea after all. 

Once he’s fully admitted it to himself, he just wants to share it with someone. He’ll find himself muttering both confessions under his breath. He knows nothing about dating boys or controlling the fire that can spring from his hands but it’s new and exciting.

At New Years, he promises himself that he’ll tell someone in the coming year and that 2014 will be his year. This previous year has been so turbulent and scary and he needs a year to work in his favour.

He tells Tyler one night after having kept him up until five in the morning. 

Once he reveals his sexuality, Tyler is open and supportive as he thought he’d be but it’s still so comforting to get it affirmed. Tyler almost smiles smugly as if he had figured it out but he doesn’t mention it. 

“Can I head to bed now? I’m going to look like a raccoon in the morning… or technically later today and it’ll be your fault,” Tyler says with a tired laugh. 

“I’m actually not quite done,” Connor says with a smile and the nerves are all back and the relief from before has evaporated. 

He should keep it as just his sexuality but they two things feel too tied together in his mind right now. He doesn’t know if they truly are but he’s been repressing both the same way. 

The nerves make his body speak for him. His fingers catch on fire and at this revelation Tyler leaps up from the couch. 

“Connor!” he screams loudly, probably forgetting he might be waking his sleeping neighbours. 

Tyler doesn’t sound angry though, just surprised. 

Connor jumps up too, he didn’t plan on breaking it like this. He’s been in pretty good control of it lately and he hasn’t seen his hands on fire for weeks. He’s scared he might touch something and accidentally make Tyler’s whole apartment building to up into flames. 

He rushes to the kitchen, where there is the least flammable material and sink down in the middle of the floor. He would run his hands under the tab but he’s tried that before and it doesn’t put out the flames. 

“Hey,” Tyler trails along after him, his voice just as soft as before when Connor came out for the first time, just moments ago.

Connor should have seen this coming. He always ignites when his emotions are running high, swimming seems to dim it but it doesn’t kill it. He just came out. He actually did it and his entire body is shaking with the aftershock of that revelation. 

Flames runs from his fingertips to his palms and begins to crawl up his arms. They’ve never moved further than the palm of his hands before and he just watches in bewilderment as the fire move up his arms lighting the sleeves of his shirt. 

He’s unable to move, frozen on the kitchen floor. 

Connor doesn’t even hear the water run and it’s only when cold water splashes over his head that he snaps out of it. 

It doesn’t take out the fire in his palms but it does put out the fire caught on his sleeves, which are now severely charred. However, the water helps Connor calm down as it reminds him of diving into the lake as a kid and how that made everything better. 

Connor looks up at his friend, who despite having only known him a few months, is by far the closest he’s ever been with anyone. 

“You look like a drowned rat,” Tyler says and tosses him a clean tea towel from the counter. 

“You poured water over me,” Connor shoots back as a smile creeps up on his features. It’s such a Tyler remark and it’s putting him extremely at ease that Tyler is acting perfectly normal despite what just passed between them. 

“How long have you been able to do that?” Tyler asks as Connor attempts to dry his hair. 

“From right before I moved,” Connor says but he doesn’t elaborate how he’s felt hot-tempered and destructive since he was a teenager. He still wants to account that to hormonal imbalance rather than being connected to his fire situation. 

“Really?” Tyler asks intrigued and looks as if he knows something he’s not letting on. “I would have thought you’d know sooner.”

Connor shrugs but it’s half-hearted. 

“I didn’t really knew I was gay before I moved out here either,” he says and it’s liberating to be able to actually utter that out loud somewhat causally. It’s a whole new world where closeted and repressed Connor can be a thing of the past. 

Tyler quirks a sassy eyebrow but doesn’t challenge his statement. 

“We need some shut eye, we’ve been awake for over twenty hours. You should probably crash here, but only if you’re promising not to set fire to my couch. I love that couch.”

Tyler turns on his heels, seemingly overwhelmed with sleepiness but Connor has to ask one thing or he won’t be able to fall asleep. 

“Tyler?”

“Yeah?” Tyler responds and turns back to face Connor. 

“You’re not scared of me?”

Tyler smiles and strides back towards the kitchen where Connor is now standing but still just as wet. Tyler wraps his arms around his friend.

“You’re one of my best friends, Con. Of course, I’m not scared of you. I’m serious about the couch though. Not one scorch mark or I kick you out on your behind.”

The next couple of months he comes out to his parents and siblings. They take the news amazingly and are so supportive of everything. He was terrified to tell them and almost burst into flames again but he managed to keep the flames away. 

He feels lighter and more free after all the love he gets from the people closest to him. However, he doesn’t tell anyone else about the flames. He had intended to tell Tyler as he was swept up in to moment but he also lost absolute control. 

He can’t let anyone else see him like that. 

Tyler actually turned out to be the perfect confidant as he’s hiding an unusual ability just like Connor. Only Connor would give his right arm to be able to talk to animals rather than spontaneously combusting. 

Tyler encourages him to try and control it but Connor is too scared. He keeps to his rigid swimming schedule without fail. He even schedules meetings around it. 

He’s slowly getting used to thinking that a boy passing is cute without internally scolding himself but the fire is something else. He thought they were connected because he kept them hidden the same way but homosexuality is not destructive in the way uncontrollable fire is. 

“You can’t just pretend it’s not there, Connor!” Tyler scolds him one day when Connor calls to cancel plans because of his swimming schedule. 

“I’m not, Tyler. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have to go swimming, would I?”

“That’s not what I mean. There is a better way than just doing preventive measures and essentially ignoring and avoiding the problem. Trust me I’ve been there.”

“It’s not the same for you as it is for me,” Connor whimpers into the phone and is suddenly very happy his friend can’t see the tears in his eyes. 

“You have to embrace who you are. It has to be all of your individual aspects; becoming a responsible entrepreneur, being proudly gay and having fire inside of you. You can’t let anything confine you.”

Connor ends the call and lets the tears flow, only they never do because his body evaporates them too quickly. 

In that moment on, Connor feels like he’ll never be able to embrace who he is and what he can do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m intending on making this into a series and further explore the relationship as all three boys when they meet and interact (SPOILER Tyler knows Troye, who is coming to stay with Tyler in LA). They have so much to learn from each other and while Tyler and Troye are well on the way to becoming fully comfortable with themselves, Connor still has a while to go. Hence, why his final paragraph ended differently than the others. I'm pressed for time but if you'd like to read more from these characters - do let me know as it might encourage me to prioritise it above the other stories I'm writing.
> 
> Find more of my stories under my profile or at https://www.wattpad.com/SecretNRB & http://secretlywritingstories.tumblr.com
> 
> Thank you so much for reading. As always, feedback is highly appreciated. Come talk to me @natigail on Tumblr or use the comment section below.


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